Unfortunately, because of the general persuasion of the media business, we tend to hear a lot of bad news. I know that Kamazooie is not the place for bad news but I thought this would be worth reading as reminder as we come to the end of 2012 and approach the Holiday Season.

Too many times, we hear things like a family is driving home and they are hit but an impaired driver, a small child is diagnosed with cancer, a mother’s or father’s health begins to slip all too early, and of course very lately, and very tragically, a young man walks into an Sandy Hook Elementary School in New Town, Connecticut and kills 20 defenseless children.

Unfortunately, the answer to why bad things happen is both simple and complex. The answer is that we live in, and are part of, a natural world. A fellow Kamazooie blogger recently posted an article about evolution and theories of how consciousness evolved. Whether you believe in creation, evolution or evolution through creation, there's no denying that we live in harmony with the planet and all other life forms, or at least we try to. That means we exist in the natural world, full of chaos and randomness. So where does this leave us? Well it leaves us in a world where accidents and miracles can happen, and where, at times, we are powerless but to watch and accept as either joy or sorrow unfolds.

This year was a challenging one for our family; we found out, just before the May long weekend, that little Wesley, a beautiful and always happy young boy, who had just turned one, had developed brain cancer (read more on CaringBridge for Wesley's story). On the other end of the spectrum, my wonderful mother, who will turn 89 on December 27^th, is beginning to forget recent details. It’s been hard for her because she's quite aware of it and it frustrates and scares her. Of course, in the same year, we've had many good things happen as well.

So what can we make of this cruel, natural, and beautiful world? Well one, that we're only to a certain extent, in control of our destiny. Bad things do happen. Why should it be even fathomable that a middle aged man of 55, dressed in a grey tux and a red ascot tie, can die at his own daughter's wedding reception, but that happened too. Still, follow this link (What Makes a Good Man) to see how even something as dark as this can bathe us in light. We are the unfortunate benefactors of an imperfect and natural world. Poor Rick the soccer coach, had an imperfection in his heart that caused it to fail after only 55 years. The reason for the italics is to point out the beauty of the imperfect world that we live in.  As you may know, I am a mechanical engineer by training; as an engineer and as a mechanic, I’ve worked with, and even produced designs for machines. Imagine the design effort and cost of materials that it would take to develop a mechanical pump (like a heart) that would run for at least 55 years without maintenance. We are an amazing species capable of amazing talents ranging from making machines that can fly to the moon, to writing and performing beautiful music or producing captivating and emotion-tugging movies; our capabilities are almost boundless. Yet, the nature of our beautiful world is there are things which we cannot ultimately control. From a defective heart muscle, to cells gone wrong that develop a mission of their own, to the chemical or physiological imbalance that can cause the mental health issues that would make one believe that it is best to carry out such carnage as was inflicted on the 20 grade-one students in Sandy Hook Elementary School.

So this is all very depressing at such a time of year when we’re all doing our best to be merry and share good tidings; (what on earth is your point Brian???).  Well, I have 2 points, i) that we should be careful and live in the moment and ii) that we should treasure every day.

Taking Care and Living in the Moment:

While these are two discrete points, I put them together intentionally because they can help each other out so well. Living in the moment is a philosophy that many prescribe or subscribe to but what does it mean with respect to getting the best of our beautiful yet imperfect world and how does it fit well with taking care? Firstly, if we’re living in the moment, we’re forcing ourselves to be aware of our environment and of the people and things around us. This can’t help but reduce our chances of accidents by being in-tune with potentially dangerous situations that might be developing around us or within us from a health perspective. The other benefit of living in the moment, rather than being distracted by things at work, at home or at some other place where we are not, is that you get to fully appreciate the places you go, the people you’re with and the things that they say. By taking care and living in the moment, we both reduce risk and maximize our experience.

Treasure Every Day:

So this is the big one! Sometimes, regardless of how much care we take or how we invest in doing the right things, the randomness and nature of our world deals us a crappy hand;  for 20 families that are attending funerals rather than school Christmas pageants, “crappy” is a gross understatement. Sometimes, despite our best planning, care and attention, our world is turned upside down the blink of an eye. For this reason, but also for so many more reasons, we have to truly consider each day as a gift from the great gift-giver, whomever or whatever you consider that to be. If you knew that it was your last day, or your child or partner’s last day, would you have had that last conversation the way you did? Is a fight ever worth having from that perspective? Take the time to love your family every day; be tolerant of other people’s points of view. We all see the world through our own lens but try switching lenses in every dialog. Steven Covey conveys this as one of his 7 Habits; “Seek first to understand and then to be understood”. In a recent telephone conversation with my mom who was frustrated and frightened by her memory loss of recent details, I asked her to focus on the beauty of still being able to talk to all of her sons, their families and her friends and to talk about stories of the great times we’ve shared or to share new ones. To be alive, mobile and have most of your wits about you at 89 years of age is a miracle on its own. Forget the details – live in the moment.

Similarly for Super Wes, our little nephew, who has trooped through his initial brain surgery as well as all of post-surgical cancer treatments thus far, every day is a gift. From now until the indefinite future, he will be getting healthier as he comes out of his last chemo treatment. For some time, and hopefully a very long time, he will return to doing what 1, or 2 or 3-year-olds should be doing, exploring the world and learning and laughing with his parents, grandparents and other friends and family.

So with that long-winded and somewhat depressing view of our natural world, I wish you all a healthy, safe and happy 2012 holiday season; be sure to take care and love the ones you’re with and best wishes for a happy and prosperous New Year.