I've been following Kamazooie for some time but haven't done more than comment. However, while relaxing on Canada Day, while my wife had to work ;-(, I came across this posting on "presence" that I thought I would share.
Whether you're a minister, a politician, a salesman or a customer service person, or even if you just want to be a likeable person, I think considering your presence is an interesting place to start.
For the full article, you can click here but I will also paraphrase the key points.
I also want to state that I feel that the article seems a little conflicted. It seems that the focus and nature of the term presence is to be perceived by others in a positive way so that I can be recognized in a good or positive light. To me this seems a bit egotistical; however, when reading through the article, I find it to be very focused on others and not on self or ego. So overlooking that conflict, I will present the highlights of the article originally written for the Globe & Mail by Doug Mollenhaur of Quantum Leap Learning.
Look to close distance between you and others by opening up about yourself and others "speak(ing) your mind and expressing emotions honestly"
Be empathetic and look to help others if even in some small way. "The secret is to replace self-consciousness with the consciousness of others. The moment we stop performing and start working to help others get to a better place, breakthrough occurs."
Serve True Understanding
Its a lot like "seek to understand not to be understood". People who have good presence are good listeners. "if we’re thinking about what we’re going to say when someone else is talking, we’re probably not listening fully or with genuine empathy. ... Doing so recognizes and honours a deeper need in others to be heard and understood. And the intimacy created by genuine listening has the effect of drawing others to us."
Be in the moment and ready to help make things better not avoid them or cause increased stress or anxiety. "Those with presence notice the nerves and the noise but tend not to be thrown by them. They find a way to rise above it all, and maintain focus and a steady course."
Set the Mood
Look to set the mood for others to develop. Provide encouragement and assistance if required to allow others to be all that they can be.
Work to make each relationship around you better. Too often, as we get older, we start to distance ourselves from people that may have done some wrong to us while these might have been isolated issues or maybe even misunderstandings. Talk things through and make the relationship stronger. "...our friendliness tends to have a reciprocal effect on others, forming a kind of virtuous cycle of connection."
Serve the Future
" Presence helps us see ourselves as part of a larger whole." Again, be present and aware of what you can do that can help others in the longer term. For me, this relates to family and what I can do to ensure that I leave a good mark by helping my kids understand how they can be a positive influence on society.
While the Globe article it is told from a business perspective, I think there are a lot of lessons in here that are good for any phase of life.
Happy Canada Day Canadians!
(Hey! My first blog. Woo hoo!!!)