Dealing with Dementia
We're being called the sandwich generation; but I think there has always been a sandwich generation, maybe even to a greater extent before than now; I think it is more of a sandwich phase of life. My siblings and I now find ourselves dealing with dementia in our family. We are very fortunate because our mother is in her 91st year and still doing very well but her short term memory is challenged and this, and other things, cause her confusion and anxiety.
Even though I'm not yet retired, I am a member of the Canadian Association of Retired People (CARP - I love that acronym for some reason ;-) and came across this article this week.
http://www.carp.ca/2014/04/18/lets-talk-canadian-dementia-care-need-paradigm-shift/
As the article states, just last week it was rumored that Malcom Young, guitarist of one of my favorite bands, AC/DC, is suffering from dementia. Of course this brings to mind that this terrible disease is not exclusively for very old people; Malcom is only 61 (I'm now 53 and my oldest brother is 65).
What the CARP article tells us is that Canada (and likely many other countries) has no national or provincial strategies to deal with helpful things like homecare, long-term care and even policies on medicating the elderly, or not so elderly, suffering from dementia or other debilitating diseases.
Interestingly enough, while I was in the middle of drafting this post, I browsed through the Toronto Star and was surprised to see a headline "Seniors Being Sedated..." which seems to confirm that an attitude of out-of-sight, out-of-mind, seems to be our way of treating our elders in some facilities.
The World Health Organization (WHO) said in April 2012 that 35.6 million people live with dementia globally and as our life expectancy grows, so too will this number. If forecasts that the number will double by the year 2030. The WHO states that the majority of care is currently given informally by family, friends and volunteers. It goes further to suggest that these informal caregivers have to be consulted to develop long-term humane and sustainable solutions for the future.
The CARP article also points to a refreshing undertaking that was developed in Denmark where an entire town, Hogewey, was built to support the particular needs of people with Dementia. The town has approximately 150 residents, no cars to hurt anyone, and it is self contained with shopping, cafes, live-in caregivers and dozens of clubs to occupy the time like gatherings for baking, literature and biking. While building a dedicated community is not something than any one of us can do to help care for friends or family with this disease, it does provide some hope that there are creative ways of dealing with the issue in a healthier manner than sedating them.
Unfortunately, I don't have any answers on how to deal with loved-ones suffering from dementia, I only have questions. While Kamazooie is dedicated to the sharing of positive life experiences, I think it can also be a place to deal, positively, with some of the challenges that we will all have to face, either directly, or within our immediate family and friends network.
I would like to hear your experiences and how you may have found progressive ways of dealing with the effects of dementia and Alzheimer's.
Charles Dimov
I don't have any answers either, Brian - and you raise an excellent topic to think about. It is scary that we don't have many options in dealing with dementia. My parents are approaching their 90's and are starting to experience it too. What you learn from being sandwiched - is to really appreciate the moments you have with your kids... by remembering what your parents meant to you when you were a kid...
Apr 22, 2014
Shirley Turchet
I empathize. This is a scourge. We saw our mother-in-law, like all the women in her family, 'lose her self' in this disease; fortunately, it was late onset (after 80), but a care home was the only answer as her husband himself was older and on his own. They were in Italy, and the care home was subsidized and full of caring, competent staff, but still not a place you'd want to be. My father-in-law was able to give her lunch everyday until she became bedridden and basically insensible. You're in the early stages, and we tried to find the humour in the funny little things she'd say or do, and be gentle and inclusive with her, but the level of attending becomes very high. I think we were lucky in that she never lost her sense of humour and basic kindness ( some become aggressive) until she lost her speech. I can only hope that your family is able to find the caregiving she needs, at home prefereably until too difficult. If it's Alzheimers ( and who really knows?) the disease can run 10 years. My mother-in-law passed away at 91 after almost 12 years of diminishing. It is so cruel to everyone.
Apr 26, 2014
Brian Ritchie
Thanks for your comments Shirley and Charles. My mom is in a seniors residence that is very good. She too has her sense of humor and as not lost memory of any of us or our kids, only short term details; a blessing so far. She is a beautiful woman with a great legacy. I appreciate your insight into this challenging disease.
Apr 26, 2014